Constant
by Hades'Queen
Summary: Remus has had several relationships in his life, and there was always one constant in his relationships. They never worked out. Is he doomed for this constant to remain thus? Third Part is LupinTonks.
1. Part I: Of Pride

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything that was created by J. K. Rowling.

**Authors Note:** I love Tonks/Remus, though I think that I only have ever written one or two, I don't remember anymore. Any who, the reason that I am writing this is because I think it would make a good story because it's about Remus' love life. Story takes place in various stages of life.

**Summary: **Remus has had several relationships in his life, and there was always one constant in his relationships. They never worked out. Is he doomed for this constant to remain thus?

**Constant**

**_Part I: Of Pride_**

Remus stared at Raven Croft. Like him she was a Griffindor 7th year and a pureblood, the only difference was the fact that she came from a wealthy family that seemed to like to look down on others, not for their pureblood line, but because of their immense wealth. But Remus didn't care, he loved Raven. From her black hair, to her black eyes, to her beautiful smile, to the way that she wrote her name, to the way that she said his name. Even though she wouldn't ever say his name, but he hoped that she would.

She was best friends with Lily, Remus didn't know how exactly that had happened, but he knew that it was the greatest thing to happen to him. If it weren't for Lily he would have never been able to spend any time with her, however, it didn't much matter for she never realized that he was around, just as she never noticed Peter Pettigrew. Of course, she did know James and Sirius and she would speak to _them_.

Remus understood why she ignored him. She was very proud and it was the way that she was brought up. Of course she didn't deny the fact that he was brilliant, and that was the only reason that she agreed to meet him in private, so that he would tutor her in Defense. Of course she didn't want anyone to know of it and he obliged to her request all too willingly and noticed that behind closed doors she was quite nice.

But he still thought that she was cruel, for she knew very well the way that he felt her and she simply liked to use him. When they were alone in private she was sweet, charming. She was all smiles and sweet laughter. She touched him lightly on his arm, which sent his heart twittering into his brain so that he couldn't think straight, and she would toss her hair in an enticing way. Yet whenever they were in public she tried her best to ignore him, or she ridiculed him and was quite mean.

He had a feeling that she really did like him, for when they were in class and no one was looking, he would often catch her gaze lingering on him. Or if he was ever talking to another girl, she would purposefully walk by while running a hand through her hair and chewing on her lower lip, which always made his mouth water. He guessed that the reason that she acted like she didn't like him was simply her pride that would not allow her to love him. After all, he was economically less than her.

But everyone knew what he felt for her, and of course people of Slytherin did not approve of his feelings as really Raven should have been one of them. Or at least that was the way that they saw it, but Remus believed that he could make her so much happier then anyone in Slytherin could make her. Sure they had money, and nice manors and many nice things, but material possessions wouldn't make her happy for very long. He knew that she wasn't materialistic, for whenever she gave Lily gifts for Christmas, they weren't expensive or luxurious but something very personal that showed that she knew Lily well.

He knew that money wouldn't make her happy and he knew that no one in Slytherin could make her happy the way that he could. After all no one in Slytherin knew that her hair smelled of country apples from orchards. No one in Slytherin knew that her favorite subject was Care of Magical Creature because she was a big animal lover. No one in Slytherin knew that her favorite ice-cream was cookie dough, or that her favorite book was Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, or that she used a different quill for ever day of the week. No one knew that she'd once broken her wrist, falling from a tree in her backyard when she was four. No one knew that she kept her favorite teddy bear in her trunk. No one knew that she was a rape victim. NO one knew, except for him and no one could love her the way that he did.

He wished that she could just understand and accept him. He knew that a part of her wanted to, but it was her damn pride that would simply not allow her. He wished that she would understand that she needed to let go or her pride, for it would never do her any good and that all that was doing was make her push away true love. And all for what? People who wouldn't even remember her in twenty years? People whom she wouldn't even care about in twenty years?

He was her toy, he'd realized that quite sometime ago, but he didn't care because he loved her. He knew that he loved her so much that he would even die for her. He'd do whatever she asked him to, would do her bidding like the puppy in love that he was. He was her puppet and she was the puppet master. She pulled on his strings craftily, made him do whatever it was that she wanted to do, and from above she giggled with her Slytherin friends.

James and Sirius had already told him that he was a fool and that he should just give up, that she was only playing with his feelings and would just break his heart. They told him the best thing to do would be as soon as the year came to a close to get as far away from her as was possible, to forget that he loved her and had wasted so much time and effort. But he didn't want to give up just yet.

But he couldn't deny that he wasn't getting tired of her games. He just wanted her to make up her mind and make the right decision. Lily had noted this and spoken to Raven, but Lily said that Raven had only laughed.

After that his hopes plummeted even further. He didn't know why life was so cruel to him. He didn't understand why the only girl that he had ever fallen in love with was so impossible to make happy. He always paid very close attention to everything she did, and it was like she didn't even notice him. He'd even written a letter to her and had not received anything back.

"Hey Remus," Remus looked up and stared at Selma Donovan, a cute girl in their year with blonde hair and blue eyes. She was a Pureblood as well and she was one of the girls that Raven thought that she had to prove herself to, even though it was so evident to everyone that Selma liked Remus. "Staring at Raven again?" she asked as she stared down at him.

"Umm… do you know if she got the letter that I sent to her?" he asked as he looked up at her. He thought that perhaps she hadn't received his letter and it was the reason that she had not responded to him.

"Letter? Oh! That … yeah she received it fine. She just through it away," Selma said as she looked at Remus. Remus furrowed his brow and stood up and marched across the common room.

"Why haven't you written back to me?" Remus asked as he stared down at Raven. Raven looked up from the book that she was reading in the Griffindor common room. For a second she looked up at Remus and looked away, as if she didn't know that he was talking to her even though he was staring directly down at her. She slowly turned her attention back to him.

"It required a response?" she asked as she stared up into his eyes.

"Yes! It was a three page letter spilling out everything that I had to say and you couldn't come up with a response to the four word question at the end? It was a simple question, a simply yes or no would have sufficed," Remus said as he stared down into her eyes, he was slightly flustered. She stared up at him blankly. "You know what, I give up! _I'm tossing in the towel_. Would you like me to crown you now and tell you what you have won? Your prize is eternal loneliness," he said calmly as he looked at her before turning away and marching away, no at all bothering to see her expression.

**TBC…**


	2. Part II: Of Illusions

**_Part II: Of Illusions_**

Remus made his way through the darkness and through the front door of the home that he had built with his wife, with whom he'd been married with for over a year now. However, after the first year of marriage, he feared that he was starting to see what she had been hiding and keeping away from him all along. The veil of illusions that she had put up before his eyes, had been slowly slipping away.

He slowly made his way through the darkened halls of hid home and made his way up the stairs. After a particularly bad argument that afternoon, he had walked out and had not come back until now. He'd wanted to clear his head of all the thoughts that were clouding it.

For the first year of marriage, everything was running smoothly. They loved and cared for each other. They rarely if ever got in an argument and when they did one of them would apologize and it wouldn't matter anymore. The first year seemed to be simply heaven, every second of ever day revolved around her and every second of the day she seemed to adore him. She was always so sweet and kind and he would have never thought that in a mere couple of months that things could become so ugly.

She became obsessive, possessive and she had to fight with his on everything. At first he gave up on the fights and would apologize and try to soothe her anger, and reassure her baseless flights of jealousy. However, he quickly tired of that. Whenever she fired up at him, he either fired back at her or simply left the room. She would even leave sometimes and be gone for days at a time and return like nothing. He often wondered during her absences what she did while she was gone, but he never asked. However, she was always more patient when she did come back and would bend to his will, a sign of her guilty conscious.

Of course her guilt never lasted very long. Peace in their home would only last for a few days at a time when she came back and it soon returned to its on going war. He thought that she'd been accepting of his condition when he first told her, before they even got engaged. She was perfectly fine with it, but now that he looked back on it he had to applause. She was after all a fabulous actress.

After a long day of peace and being able to sort out everything that happened in his life, he realized that he'd taken the leap of marriage without ever knowing her, through no fault of his own for she had always lied to him. She had never been sincere. Not even when it came to her own personality. She was so false. Although he had to admit to himself that it was partly his fault for marrying her in the first place. He loved her sure enough, but he'd never stopped loving Raven and he was sure that he would never love anyone as much as he loved her.

But despite it all, he realized that he couldn't continue on in this marriage. He'd even be better off dead then in the marriage. After all his marriage was a living hell and he didn't believe in anything after death. Therefore anything seemed a better option to him then to stay in the marriage. Of course that wasn't to say that he was going to commit suicide, after all he was only twenty-one-years old.

Remus slowly made his way over to his bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. She was lying on her side, her blonde hair rested on his pillow. He knew that she was awake, so he merely sat on the edge of the bed and waited for her to say something. "Where have you been?" she finally asked after a long moment. Remus stared out the window, the light of the sky casting him into the eerie blue light.

"I needed to clear my head," he responded as he looked over his shoulder at her. She turned around and sat up in bed.

"That doesn't answer my question," she said as she looked at him.

"I didn't go anywhere in particular. I simply walked around. I just needed fresh air," he said as he turned away and looked out the window, neglecting to say that he needed fresh air because she was suffocating him. She'd deceived him and wasted several years of his life and a part of him resented her for it. Those were years that he would never get back. Not only that but she had completely ruined his previous thought of marriage and was sure that he would never again want to make that leap.

"Are you sure that was all?" she asked as she stared at the back of his head.

"Do you want to start this all over again?" he asked as he turned to look at her. The light seeping in through the window caused her blue eyes to sparkle.

"I'm not starting anything," she said defensively as she looked at him, even though she really was trying to start up the argument that they had earlier that day. She wanted to get in the last word, like always and as he'd left the house, she hadn't been able to accomplish that goal earlier.

"I'm not going through this all over again Selma. I want a divorce and whether you give it to me or not I'm leaving," he suddenly said as he stood up from the bed. She stared up at him and glared.

"You can't leave me," she said as she looked up into his eyes. He stared down at her and glared.

"I'm sick and tired of you constantly being jealous whenever I step in through the door. I have never done anything to make you think that I would cheat on you and yet you continue to harass me about every second of my day," Remus said as he looked at her.

"You don't need to cheat on me physically with someone else, for you already do it in your mind. I know who you are always thinking about, which I don't' understand at al. You would think that after three years you would finally stop thinking about her and loving her when she never even loved you to begin with," Selma said as she started to raise her voice in anger and got off the bed.

"I am not constantly thinking about her," Remus said as he looked at her.

"Maybe not, but it doesn't mean that you haven't stopped loving her. But you know what Remus; I will give you a divorce because it turns out that the chase was truly better then the catch. I'm just sorry that it took this long for you to finally let me go," she said as she looked at him. He merely glared at her as he turned away.

"Fine," he said as he walked out of the room, slamming the door, but inwardly relieved that he was finally escaping from the horror that he'd come to know as marriage.

**TBC…**


	3. Part III: Of Passion Or Lack Of

_**Part III: Of Passion… Or Lack Of**_

"Remus we need to talk," Nymphadora said as they walked into the coffee shop around the corner. Remus nodded as they sat down at one of the tables by the window. It was a bright and sunny day out, and the leaves were turning green as spring slowly rolled into London. They'd been dating for nearly a year already, which seemed to pass by quite fast considering the war that was going on.

"What do you want to talk about?" Remus asked as he looked at Nymphadora, who was several years younger then he was. It was the only obstacle in the way of their love and they'd gotten over it. Obstacles always seemed to stand in Remus' way when it came to relationships and it seemed that he always seemed to give up. However, it was different with Tonks for some reason or other.

"Well I'm not sure if you have noticed, but I think that I have for quite sometime… I guess that I have been far too afraid to say anything about it, because things have been going so well with us, but I think that we should talk about it. I mean, before this goes any further and we really hurt each other," Tonks said as she looked into his eyes. He stared at her quizzically and wondered where she was going with this. "Where do you think that we stand in our relationship?"

"What do you mean? Everything has been going well, I mean considering what has been going on. We've been getting along very well and we care for each other very much. I don't think that I have ever in my life been in a relationship that has felt quite so good," Remus said as he looked into her eyes with a furrowed brow. Tonks looked down from his eyes and played with a strand of her straight hair, which was black. She hadn't wanted to call too much attention to herself lately.

"Remus I know that… well after so long that you are finally mine," Tonks said as she looked up into his eyes. She loved him with all her heart and was happy to have him at her side, but not if he really didn't love her. "But despite the fact that you are it feels like you're not. It's almost like you belong to someone else or something."

"Why do you feel like that? I mean, I have not changed in the way that I behave towards you and you know that I love you," he said as he looked at her. She looked up and smiled at him. She had always known that there was a difference between loving someone and being _in_ love with them. You could love anybody, for it was just a form of very deep caring. Just like she loved Sirius, She loved her parents and the way that she loved Mad eye. And then there was that feeling of being _in_ love with someone.

Being _in_ love with someone, is walking on clouds, heart thumping hard in your chest, sweaty palms, discomfort. It was telling the person that you love constantly that you love them or love the things that they do. It meant loving the person even when they were angry. It was the desire to be with someone all the time and missing them whoever they were gone. It was wanting to constantly taste the others lips and where spending a day in bed with them could be one of the best days of your life.

"We've been dating almost a year and do you realize that was the first time that you have ever told me that you love me?" Tonks asked as she looked up into his eyes. He stared at her through a furrowed brow. "I know that you love me Remus, but my heart knows that you are not in love with mer."

"How can you possibly say that I don't love you? I'm with you every second of every day," he said as he looked at her. She smiled as she looked at him.

"And even so I feel lonely," Tonks said, her voice becoming slightly higher in pitch as sadness slowly crept into her voice. Remus looked at her helplessly, like he didn't' understand what she was trying to tell him, like he didn't understand what she wanted from him. Tonks looked away as his clueless ness was breaking her heart even more then it was already broken.

"But I have given you everything that I could possibly give you," Remus said as he placed his hand over hers causing her to look up. She smiled as she looked up at him, she could feel her eyes starting to prick with tears that wanted to form.

"But you're not in love with me," she said as she looked up into his eyes.

"But I love you," he said as he stared into her eyes.

"It's not the same thing Remus. You can love anyone Remus. You can love a friend, a dog, a family mere, but you can only be in love with one person and you're simply not _in_ _love_ with me. "When you truly love someone, there are no ifs ands of buts. When you truly love someone, you're not afraid of getting hurt or taking that next step that will elevate your love to higher pedestals. You give away every piece of yourself, selflessly with complete and utter devotion. Love stories have no end. And though I regret to say this, there was everything between me and you, but there was one thing missing, passion."

**TBC…**


	4. Part IV: Love Stories Have No End

_**Part IV:** **Love Stories Have No End**_

Remus lightly fluttered his eyes open and grimaced as he felt the suns rays beaming down on his face. He didn't want to open his eyes because he didn't quite felt like burning his retina's at the moment. He lay in bed, not knowing where he was, but not really caring as he felt himself slowly slipping off back into his dreams. "_Look at that, never thought I'd see you again at my mercy."_ He could hear the soft memory of Raven Croft's voice drifting into his dream.

"Hmm?" Remus murmured.

"Come on Remus, rise and shine," he heard the voice say clearly as he felt someone lightly tug on his hair. Remus sat bolt up right and his eyes shot open immediately taking in the scenery and straight away realizing that he was in St. Mungos Hospital. He groaned as he remembered the particularly nasty fight that he'd gotten into with Greyback at the last battle in which the Dark Lord had been defeated. He'd remained conscious long enough after the fight with Greyback to know that Voldemort had been defeated and that Harry had triumphantly survived.

Remus rubbed his eyes and ran them through his hair. His body felt mildly sore and he could feel that both his hands had been bandaged. He wondered how long he'd been unconscious. Very slowly he turned his attention to see who had awoken him and his eyes landed on a pair of black eyes that brought flashing memories of his past. Silky black hair was tied up in a high ponytail; her face had remained fairly youthful.

"You became a Medi-wtich?" he asked as he stared at her. He'd never pictured her becoming a medi-witch. She merely smiled as him that charming smile of hers as she stared down at him and he could feel his heart start thumping the way it had when he was seventeen.

"I know, shocking isn't it?" she asked as she looked down at him. "But I see where I have changed since we were teenagers, you have not. What kind of trouble are you getting into these days, Remus? Fighting with Fenrir Greyback? I don't remember you behaving so wildly when were teenagers, you must have gotten worse with age," she said as she teased him lightly. He merely chuckled lightly and shook his head.

"How long have I been out for?" he asked as he looked up at her.

"Not long," she said as she shook her head. "Only a day, and considering the amount of injuries you sustained, you're lucky that you survived. Someone must've been watching out for you Remus, for you were lucky you even found Healer in St. Mungos to treat you."

"Yes, I'll be sure to thank the Healer," Remus said as he looked at her. "Who is it?" he asked as he stared at her. She merely shrugged and turned away.

"Umm… you're girlfriend or wife or whatever, stopped by," she said as she turned away and picked something up. "She dropped this off," she said as she turned to look at him and gave him a ring, avoiding his gaze.

"Thank you," Remus said as he looked into the ring. He was sure that Raven would recognize it; after all, he'd had it since they were at Hogwarts. It was gift from his father and though he could not place it on his finger, he'd placed it on a chain and always had it hanging from his neck. It was the type of thing that you'd give your girlfriend for it was riddled with sentimental value, and he'd given it to Tonks. However, she'd told him that she'd misplaced it. He guessed that she'd found it. "She'd not my girlfriend, at least, not for several months now."

"All right," she said as she stared at his medical records, like it didn't matter to her whether she was or wasn't.

"Raven, did you throw away that letter that I gave you before you even read it?" Remus suddenly asked, causing her to look up in slight confusion.

"What are you talking about?" she asked as she looked up into his eyes.

"Don't pretend that you don't know what letter I'm taking about. I only ever wrote you one," he said as he stared at her. She looked down once more.

"I read it," she replied as she looked up into his eyes. "And I hadn't thrown it out; I don't know why you falsely accused me of _that_ all those years ago."

"If you hadn't thrown it out, then why didn't you refute it then, instead of now? It's not like you could ever prove it _now_ that you hadn't thrown it away," he said as he looked up into her eyes. She merely looked away once more and wrote something on his record.

"Why would I refute it, there would have been no point, besides you seemed quite convinced that I had thrown it out anyway," Raven said as she continued to write something.

"I guess you're right. I mean you never loved me anyway right?" he said as he looked up into her eyes. She looked up into his eyes over the clipboard and stared into his eyes a long moment.

"My shift will soon be over. Another Medi-wtich will be in to see you in a couple of hours. You can't leave until the Healer in charge of you deems you fit to leave," Raven said as she turned away and walked out of the room.

----------

"How long has Raven been working here?" Remus asked the medi-witch. She was a quite young red head who was very loquacious and sweet. She was comforting to him as he was stuck there the entire day and was really bored out of his mind. He'd received a few visitors, but after visiting hours were over there was no one else to talk to.

"She's been recently transferred in. I think that she was previously working as a missionary in a werewolf colony," the girl said as she went around checking his vital signs. Remus raised his brow at this. He couldn't picture Raven even becoming a medi-witch and for her to be dealing with werewolves, who were hated and discriminated against by most wizards, seemed very strange to him. "I think she's very pretty and young looking for a thirty-eight year old. She hardly looks odder then my sister Veronica and _she's only_ twenty-four."

"Do you know if she is married?" Remus asked as he looked at the young medi-witch.

"The older medi-witches say she's NEVER been married. They say that she gave up on love and completely devoted herself to her work," the girl said with a shrug. "It seems such a shame, but she's done a lot of good. I've heard that there have been like fifteen guys that have asked her to marry her, but that she's turned them all down," she said as she looked at him.

"Fifteen?" Remus asked doubting that.

"Yes, I was skeptical about it too at first, but you should see all the guys that come and see her and bring her flowers, but you know she's never interested in any of them. She busies herself with work," the girl said as she looked into Remus' eyes.

"Yeah that sounds like her. When I knew her in school, she was never interested in anyone, no matter how hard they tried," Remus said as he looked at her.

"I don't think that she isn't interested in anybody. I think that she's in love or was in love and has never let go of it. Because every time she gets flowers or something, she stares at them like she wishes they weren sent from someone else," the medi-witch said as she looked at him.

"So do you know at what time she'll be back in?" he asked as he looked at the young medi-witch.

"No, but if you want her to sign your release forms she won't do it. You are nowhere near ready to leave St. Mungos," the girl said as she looked into his eyes.

"I thought only Healers could sign the release forms," Remus said as he looked up at the girl as he furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Raven is a Healer," she responded as she looked down at Remus. He stared at her with a furrowed brow. "Oh, you must've seen her with a medi-witch uniform and doing medi-witch duties. She's a Healer, but she'd one of the rare Healers who actually constantly checks in whenever she can. I think that she kind of likes the Medi-witch position more because you get more time with patients then Healers do."

-----------

"Why didn't you tell me that you are my Healer?" Remus said as soon as Raven walked in nearly at midnight. She rolled her eyes.

"Been talking to Rosy?" Raven said with a barely audible chuckle as she walked over to his bed. "She talks too much for her own good sometimes."

"Yes, but we're not talking about Rosy. We're talking about you. Why didn't you tell me that you where my healer?" he asked as he stared up into her eyes.

"You didn't ask, and I don't tell any of my patients, because then they start bothering me about letting them go," she responded as she looked into his eyes. "I've been thinking about this all day and I wanted to know; why did you ever think that I threw your letter away?" she asked as she looked at him.

"Selma Donovan told me that you did," he said as he looked up into his eyes, regretting the fact that he had to remember his ex-wife. She looked at him blankly as she didn't seem to remember who he was talking about. "She was a Griffindor from our year. She was a pureblood like us, but I think that you always felt that you had to prove something to her and her friends."

"Oh, yes. I was such a foolish girl. I don't even remember any of them anymore," Raven said with a somewhat bitter smile as she looked down at the clipboard, but then she looked up into his eyes. "But I can say the same thing about you. You shouldn't have believed her. You know that she liked you and she just wanted you to stop liking me, which I never quite understood why you even liked me. I was quite awful to you."

"Well, love tends to make fools out of us, and I was a fool for you," Remus said with a smile as he looked down into his hands. Raven stared at him intently and sighed as she looked down at her hands.

"So do you still believe that I threw away the letter?" Raven asked as she stared down at him. Remus looked up and stared at her, wondering why it was so important to her whether he believed that she did or didn't.

"I've known Selma to be quite the horrible human being, but I don't think that she'd be so horrible as to lie about it," Remus said as he looked at her. Raven merely nodded.

"Well, anyway, I think that you should be ready to go home by tomorrow."

------------

Remus stood in the waiting room when Raven walked in; Tonks was sitting over by a wall with Harry. He'd been told earlier that he was ready to go and that all he needed was the forms from Raven, releasing him from the hospital. "I see that you're all ready to go," Raven said with a very small smile as she looked at him. "Did someone come to accompany you home?" she asked as she looked at him. He nodded his head over to Harry and Tonks. "Good, well here you go."

"Raven, can I ask you something?" he said as he slowly took the paper from her hands. She nodded slowly as she looked into his eyes. "Why did you treat me the way that you did when we were in Hogwarts?"

"I guess my pride, and fear. Really I tried to hide behind my pride more then anything," she said as she looked down at the floor.

"Did you know I was a werewolf back then?" he asked as he looked at her. She looked up at him and smiled.

"Yes, it wasn't hard to figure out Remus. But that's not what I was afraid of," she said as she stared into his eyes. She looked down and pulled something out of her pocket; it was an envelope with a letter inside and she continued to stare down at it as she spoke. "I never through that letter away and you think that there is no way for me to prove that, but there is," she said as she looked up into his eyes and gave him the letter she had in her hands. "Bye Remus," she said as she turned around and walked.

Remus stared down at the envelope and wondered if it could possibly be what he thought it was. Slowly, as he watched her walking away, he pulled the letter from the envelope and took in a sharp intake of breath as he saw his handwriting. Remus looked to see and found himself staring at three pages worth of writing, in his own hand, telling her how much he loved her and what he loved about her.

Remus looked up and saw Raven go through a door and wondered why she had kept the letter for so long.

**TBC…**

**A/N:** Ooooo, this is almost coming t an end. Please leave a Review.


	5. Part V: The Constant

**A/N: **Yes, Raven had read the note when she was in Hogwarts, didn't I write that in the first chapter? I can't remember anymore. But anyway, on with the end.

**_Part V: The Constant_**

Remus stared at the letter in his hand and felt his heart thumping hard in his chest. He didn't understand why she would keep the letter for so long. "Remus, are you ready to go?" Tonks asked as she looked at Remus. Remus turned around to look at Tonks and stared down at her in a moment, but was lost in thought. "Was she the Raven that Sirius told me about?" Tonks asked as she looked up into his eyes.

"What did Sirius tell you? When did he tell you?" Remus asked as he stared down at her.

"Shortly before he passed through the veil, I confessed to him that I was falling in love with you and he warned me against it. He said that there was a girl named Raven Croft that you'd fallen in love with at Hogwarts, and that she was the reason that you were so messed up about love and that you never stopped loving her and would never love anyone more then you loved her," Tonks said as she looked up into his eyes.

"How do you know that it's her?" Remus asked as he looked down into her eyes.

"When we brought you in, she was the only healer around. When she first saw you she was shocked, but it wasn't your appearance or condition that shocked her. It was _you_," Tonks said as she looked into his eyes. "You know if you love her I'd suggest that you follow her, because she loves you too."

"How would you know?" Remus asked as he looked down at her.

"The way that she looked at you and even the way that she wouldn't look at you, breathes with love," Tonks said as she looked up into Remus' eyes with a broad smile.

Remus merely nodded and turned around and made his way through the door. He slowly made his way down the hallways, looking through the doors as he made his way down the hall, trying to see if he could find Raven or not. "Rosy, do you know where Raven is?" Remus asked as he spotted the young medi-witch as he poked his head through a room. She was attending to one of the patients.

"I saw her walk by a few minutes ago. She's probably in her office looking over your file one last time before she puts it away," Rosy said as she turned around to look at him and offered him a small smile. Remus smiled and thanked her as he made his way down the hallway and towards her door. He immediately opened the door and walked into her office without knocking first.

"Remus, what are you doing here? Is something wrong?" Raven asked as she stood up and looked over at him. He had startled her with his abrupt entrance. Remus smiled as he closed the door behind himself. His heart was thumping so hard he feared that she perhaps could hear it. He turned around and made his way up to her desk as she stared at him in slight confusion.

"No, nothings wrong, but I was wondering if I could ask you something," he said as he looked at her desk. There was an open folder on her desk and beneath the folder he could see the tip of a picture sticking out from underneath. Remus furrowed his brow as he realized that the boy in the picture was him when he was seventeen. Remus grabbed the picture and looked at it. Raven was sitting next to him, it had been taken in Hogwarts library and she was smiling, laughing actually. Their faces were in close proximity, it almost looked like they were about to kiss. "When was this taken? I don't remember this."

"Lily took it of us in our seventh year when we were studying. She was going to use the picture to blackmail me into helping her with something that I didn't want to help her with. She was planning on showing the whole school the picture, but when she realized that I just really didn't care she just gave me the picture and gave up," Raven said as she turned her gaze to the open file on her desk. "I think that was after you gave me the note."

"But we didn't spend anytime together after I gave you the note," Remus said as he looked up at her. She looked at the file on her desk, as if she were actually inspecting something. He was perplexed about the fact that she hadn't cared that Lily was going to expose her secret friendship with him. He didn't understand why she hadn't cared if the whole school knew that they were friends. Not only that but the picture made it seem like they were more then just friends

"I think she took the picture long before she intended to use it. Actually I think that she intended to out _us_ after we stopped talking to each other," Raven said as she looked away, thinking about the day that Remus had come up to her and told her that she was going to be alone for the rest of her days. She had to admit that he wasn't wrong, but it was only because there was only one person she had ever loved and it hurt so much when he said those things to her. But even so her foolish pride had not allowed her to go after him. "But I'm sure you didn't come to ask me about the picture."

"No, actually, I didn't. But why did you keep it all these years?" he asked as he stared at her. She stared at him and smiled as she slowly shrugged her thin shoulders.

"I thought that it was a sweet picture," she said as she looked into his eyes. Remus looked down at his feet and stared at them for a few minutes, trying to sort out all the confusion in his head.

"You never answered my question. Whether or not you returned my feelings," he said as he stared at her. She smiled as she looked at him and furrowed her brow at this. There was a slight look of confusion, written on her beautiful face as she stared into his amber eyes.

"That was so long ago Remus, what does it matter now?" she said as she stared into his eyes. "I mean, why bring it up now? You got married, you moved on. It doesn't matter anymore."

"How do you know that I got married?" he asked as he stared at her.

"Daily Prophet," she responded as with an enigmatic smile.

"Well they don't report on divorces," Remus said as he looked away. He really would rather have not remembered the fact that he'd been married once upon a time. The subject always left a very bitter taste in his mouth. Like the taste that is left after you have regurgitated. "Besides that was an entire lifetime ago and I'd rather not remember."

"Yes and neither does she, I take it, as I ran into her mere days after the divorce proceedings came to an end. Boy did she give me an earful," Raven said as she turned away, while picking up the file from her desk. She walked around the desk and across the room to one of the filing cabinets, which she opened and started to look through. She was trying to find the precise spot where the file belonged.

"You ran into her?" he asked as he stared at the back of her head. Raven merely nodded in response.

"Apparently she'd decided to visit her parents and I ran into her in an apothecary in Italy. Wasn't a very pleasing day, Snape had made sure to ruin it for me," she said as she stared into the cabinet. She'd run into him on the very same day. Apparently he was looking for a very rare plant that was only sold in that specific apothecary and they'd never gotten along ever since their break up in their sixth year.

"I still don't understand how you could have possibly dated him," Remus said, staring at the back of her head as she put away the file she'd been holding. She slammed the file cabinet drawer closed as she whirled around and looked at him.

"You knew?" she asked as she stared at him. She'd thought that no one in Griffindor had found out about it, as she and Severus had never been open about it.

"Of course I knew. You two were always looking at each other, you'd mysteriously disappear, and then after a while he looked and treated you the way that he treated… well with the same contempt as he treated James and Sirius. Why did you two break up anyway?" Remus asked as he stared at her.

"You, actually," she said as she walked past him and went back to standing behind her desk. Remus furrowed his brow at this. Staring at her as he wanted her to explain, but she was busying herself with straightening out the papers and files on her desk.

"Me, why me?" he asked as he stared at her.

"He said something particularly nasty about you being a werewolf and I gave him an earful and dumped him," Raven said as she looked up into his eyes. He stared at her in a confused manner. It seemed that every moment that passed she confused him more and more.

"Why did you stand up for me if you didn't even like me? Why didn't you care if Lily showed the whole school that we where friends if that was the reason that you treated me the way that you did? Why did you keep the letter all these years? Why have you never gotten married?" he started saying rapidly, feeling a blush rising up his neck as he went.

"Wow, Remus that's a lot," she said as she stared at him. He took in a deep breath as he looked at her. "Like I told you Remus, I was very proud back then, but I knew deep down inside that I really liked you. When I heard Severus say all those awful things about you I just burst. And when Lily threatened to expose my friendship with you, I didn't care anymore because you didn't want to talk to me anymore and it seemed like nothing in the world mattered anymore. And I kept the letter all these years because I knew that no one would ever love me the way that _you_ loved me."

Remus stared at her. He was still confused. "But-"

"Remus there is no point in talking about the past, it passed already and there is nothing we can do to change it," she said as she looked at him, there was a sad smile on her face as she picked something off from her desk. "I have to get back to work Remus," she said as she looked into his eyes. She looked down at the floor as she walked towards the door.

"You didn't answer why you haven't ever gotten married," he said as he stared at the back of her head as she reached out for the doorknob. She stopped and turned her face slightly so that part of her profile was visible to him.

"I remember how you would rest the feather of your quill on your lips when you were writing something and got stuck," she said as her eyes clouded with memories. He could hear a smile in her voice as she spoke. There was a sad nostalgia in her tone of voice. "You would nibble on your lower lip whenever you thought Sirius or James were going to get hurt while they were playing Quidditch. When you read, you would knit your eyes together, as if trying to grasp what you were reading and you were always well aware of your surroundings. You would even grunt when you heard something that you didn't like. You were always so sweet, kind, patient and understanding of everything. And you were so shy and sometimes even meek and self conscious, even though you were one of the best people a person could have the pleasure in knowing."

"Why are you telling me all this?" he asked as he stared at her. She slowly turned around so that she could look at him. Tears had built up in her beautiful eyes, but she kept smiling, a very sad smile that slowly tore and tugged at his heart.

"So many years have gone by and there hasn't been a day that I have not thought about you. The way you smile, the way you laugh, the way your voice would sound whenever you were angry," she said as she looked into his amber eyes. "There hasn't been a day that has passed in which I haven't thought about the last thing you ever said to me, _your prize is eternal loneliness,_ and you were right Remus. I have to go."

Remus stood motionless as she opened the door and stepped out into the hallway, the door closing behind her. Remus thought about his love life and how every time he was in love it didn't work out. First Raven couldn't get over her pride, and the second was nothing more then an illusion and the third was that there was no passion in the relationship and he'd always thought that his constant was his failure in love, but that wasn't it. The one constant in his life, had always been Raven.

She was his first love. He couldn't think of anyone except her when he got married. And when he was with Tonks, he just simply didn't feel that passion because it was all still for Raven. Even as he stood there, he could fell the love that he'd always had for Raven that had never gone away. Perhaps he'd never been aware of it, but he was aware of it now, and his heart was beating wildly with fear that he'd allowed her to slip away once more.

Remus rushed to the door and walked after Raven, who was barely turning into a corner. Remus jogged after he and into the room that she'd walked into and reached out for her hand. "Tell me that you still love me," he said as he stared down into her eyes. She seemed slightly surprised by this as he held her arm in his, holding her close to him.

"I never stopped loving you," she responded as she looked into his eyes. He smiled as he looked down into her eyes and pulled her close to him, resting his hand on her gentle chin as he pulled her close to him. For a moment, he lingered less then an inch from her face, his nose touching her face, his lips almost gracing hers. He thought about the fact that he'd been waiting for a kiss from her soft lips for over twenty years.

Remus closed his eyes as he placed his lips on top of her lusciously soft lips, the stuff from his dreams and yet surpassing the expectation. For a moment he allowed his lips to rest on hers, savoring the soft feel of her feminine mouth. Very slowly he moved his mouth to be able to catch her lips between his and taste the strawberry lip-gloss that she'd worn on her thin lips since they were first years. He lightly ran his tongue over her lips, begging for entrance to explore her mouth, which she relented and he lightly caresser her tongue with his.

All thoughts seemed to be left far behind him and there was nothing that he could see. All he could do was feel as the goose bumps spread over his body as she lightly placed her hands on his arms. A trail burned on him as he felt the way that she moved her tongue against his and pressed her body on his to get as close as possible to him.

After minutes they emerged from the kiss and stared at each other with sparkling eyes as their lips burned with the intensity of their first kiss. "You are the only stable constant in my life," he said as he stared down into her eyes. She looked at him as if she didn't understand but she merely continued to smile.

"It's not the time of words," she said as she looped her arms around his neck and brought down his head for another gentle kiss.

**THE END**

**A/N:** Please leave a review. Hoped you enjoyed the ending!


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